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JACK 0' HEARTS 



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Sent prepaid on receipt of price by 

l^alter ?|. pafeer Sc Companp 

No. s Hamilton Place, Boston, Massachusetts 



Jack o' Hearts 



A Comedy in Three Acts 



By 
EDITH M. BURROWS 

Juthor of " Their Lordships^'* 
^^Dear Cyril^^ etc. 



BOSTON 

WALTER H. BAKER & CO. 

1913 



Jack o' Hearts ,2^39^1^ 



CHARACTERS 



Mary Hart, co77tinonly known as "/b//|/." 
WiNTHROP Hart, /ter brother. 
Dr. Wp^yc^, father of Polly and Winthrop. 
Mary Robinson, a friend of Polly s. 
Betty Dwyer, the ^irl who lives next door. 
John ku^s, young clergyman friend of Winthrop' s. 
Jack Botsford, an unhiown cousin of the Harts', 
A Maid. 

Time.— The Present. 




Copyright, 191 3, by Walter H. Baker & Co, 



/ TMP92-008751 



CLD 33697 



Jack o' Hearts 



ACT I 

SCENE.— Zjz/^^ and comfortably furnished living-room at 
Dr. Hart's. Bookcases along walls at back ; pictures over 
these ; reading table near centre front ; small table with 
telephone at left back ; fireplace at left front ; doors ce filer 
back and left cejiter ; two windows on right ; couch at right ; 
easy chairs near fireplace and table. 

(^Curtain rises, disclosing living-room at the Harts'. A 
maid is arranging the room. Telephone bell rings vio- 
lently.) 

Maid. Hello! Yes, Doctor. Miss Polly, sir. I'll call 
her. Hold the wire. \Exit l 

Enter Polly Hart, l., dressed for the street; goes to telephone. 

Polly. Hello, Daddy. This is Polly. Oh, what a shame ' 
Then you won't be home for lunch? Who, Daddy? Jack 

Botsford? Who's he? I don't remember ever hearing of 

such a cousin You haven't seen him for ten years? Oh 

Daddy {laughing), of course. I'll be nice to him, but I hate 
having full-grown relatives sprung on me. He'll be here for 
lunch, then, and you'll be home later on, probably ? All right 
Good-bye. {Hangs up receiver.) Now, isn't that the limit? 
A perfectly strange cousin, who may be anything but congenial 
is turnmg up just as Mary is due to arrive. Well, I suppose 
1 11 have to be nice to him. {Calls.) Celeste ! 

Efiter Maid, l. 

Maid. Yes, Miss Polly ? 

Polly. The Doctor will probably not be here for lunch, 

3 



4 JACK O' HEARTS 

Celeste, but a cousin of ours, a Mr. Jack Botsford, is expected 
some time this morning, so your plans need not be altered. I 
am going out now to meet Miss Robinson, but will return be- 
fore long. In case this cousin should get here before I come 
back, you will see that he is made comfortable. 

Maid. Yes, Miss Polly. (^Exeunt Polly, c, a?id Maid, 
L. Bell rings ; reenter Maid, l., passes out c, and reenters 
c, with John Ames, who carries suit-case.') You wished to 
see Mr. VVinthrop, sir ? What name shall I say ? 

John. Just tell him that "Jack" is here, please. 

Maid. Yes, sir. [Exit, L. 

John. Well, well ! but it will seem good to see old Winthrop 
again. I'm glad I thought of dropping in. 

Enter Winthrop Hart, l., and seeing ]ohn, he rushes to him t 
shaking hands with great cordiality. 

Win. Jack, old man, it's great to see you ! 

John {slapping Win. on the back). You're not the only one 
that's glad over this meeting; and maybe it doesn't sound 
good to hear "Jack" again. I've been nothing h\iX./ohn and 
Mr. Ames ever since I entered the ministry. 

Win. That's so. Well, look who's here ! I forgot for the 
time being that you'd become a parson. 

{Draws off and pretends to look at John with increased 
respect. ) 

John. Oh, cut that. Win. Pm just about the same, you 
know, and most of the time manage to feel like a blooming 
hypocrite. 

Win. (Jaughirig). Well, I see you're as easily "fussed" as 
ever. But say, old man, where did you come from, anyhow ? 
Explain yourself. 

{During this speech John takes off his overcoat, revealing 
mifiisterial garb. John atid Win. seat themselves.') 

John. You'll smile when I tell you what brought me into 
this part of the country. The fact is, I came up here to marry 
an old friend of mine. 

Win. To marry? {Gasps for breath.) You — marry? 

John. Oh, hold on. I mean to perform the ceremony, you 
know. 

Win. That's better, but, oh, good Lord, Jack, wouldn't I 
love to see you do it ? 



JACK O' HEARTS 5 

John. The wedding was in the next town, so I came down 
here by trolley to wait over a train. 

Win. Wait over a train, indeed ! Why, man, do you think 
I'm going to let you slip away like this after waiting five years 
to see you? You're going to stay right here with us, as long 
as you possibly can. 

John. Oh, honestly. Win, that's awfully good of you, but I 
really can't think of it. It's an imposition ! 

Win. Nonsense. Now, have you really any good reason for 
not staying a few days with us ? 

John. No, but I 

Win. But me no buts ! If you make another objection, I'll 
think you're afraid of my sister. 

John. Your sister ? Say, Win, I met an awfully attractive 
girl coming from this direction, and, I thought, from this house. 
Could that have been your sister ? 

Win. Oh, it notices attractive girls now, does it ? There 
used to be a time when the critter didn't even see *em. Guess 
you saw Polly all O. K. She just went out before you came. 

John. Polly ? Is that her name ? 

Win. No, her name is Mary, but we all call her Polly. 
But say. Jack, don't let's talk about the fair ones now. Come 
up to my quarters and make yourself comfortable. 

[^Exeufit John and Win., l., with suit- case. 

Enter Polly and Mary Robinsqn, c. 

Polly (^putting arms around Mary). You dear thing ! 
It seems just ages since I saw you last. You don't know how 
much this visit of yours means to me after two years' separation. 

Mary. 'Deed, Polly dear, and it means a lot to me, too. 
But you haven't changed a particle. 

Polly. I've been trying to make up my mind about you, 
and I think you are changed in some way, but I can't just tell 
what the change is. 

Mary {gravely). I've lots to tell you some time, Polly, 
about my worthless self that I couldn't bring myself to write 
you, and that may explain some of the change. (^Changes to 
lighter tone.) But for the present, it's just enough to see you 
again. 

Polly. I'm going to take you right up-stairs to your room, 
and then later on we can come down here for a good old-fash- 
ioned talk. 



6 JACK O' HEARTS 

(Polly and Vlk^Y move sloivly toivardi.. during this speech; 
exeunt "L. Telephone bell rings; efiler Maid, l., and 
answers,) 

Maid. Hello ! Yes, Doctor, this is Celeste I'm to tell 

Miss Polly that you have to meet some one and will not be here 
until late this afternoon? Yes, sir; I'll tell her. Good-bye. 

{Hangs up and exits j c.) 

Enter Win. and John, l. 

Win. I'm awfully glad that you decided to stay, old man. 
Polly has a girl friend due to arrive to-day, and between us we 
ought to be able to stir up some fun. 

John. Polly — you know Mary seems to suit your sister bet- 
ter somehow — that is, if she's the girl I saw. 

{Shifts uneasily as he catches Win.'s amused glance.") 

Win. Say, if I didn't know you, Jack Ames, I'd think that 
you were some smitten on the fair maiden that you saw on our 
street. However, guess you'll find that Polly's name fits her 
all O. K. She's a regular breeze; but the best sister a chap 
ever had. 

John. Oh, I'm sure she's a dandy if she resembles her 
brother. 

Win. Kindly imagine a very sweeping bow from me in 
thanks for that remark. {^During these speeches the men have 
been seated by the fireplace. Now Win. takes out his watch^ 
ivhistles and rises.) Oh, Jerusalem ! I'd forgotten all about 
that meeting ! You won't mind, Jack, if I leave you for a 
space of perhaps twenty minutes or so? There's an important 
meeting that I've promised to attend, and I'm late now. Polly 
will look after you when she comes home, and you won't find 
her very formal. Wait ! I'll tell Celeste to let Polly know 
you're here as soon as she comes in. {Goes to door and calls.) 
Oh, Celeste ! 

Enter Maid, c. 

Maid. Yes, Mr. Winthrop. 

Win. When Miss Polly comes in, will you kindly tell her 
that Mr. John Ames is here? {Turns to John.) You'd 
rather camp out in my den than down here, wouldn't you, 
Jack? 



JACK O* HEARTS 7 

John. Yes ; I think I would like it up there. 

Win. All right, Celeste ; you tell Miss Polly that Mr. Jack 
is in my den. 

Maid. Yes, sir. \^£xt/f l. 

Win. There, so-long, Jack. You can find your way to the 
den, can't you? I'm off. [^Extf, c. 

John. Old Win hasn't changed a bit. I wonder if his 
sister is like him? It's funny I never met her when Win and 
I were in college together, but it never happened. Wonder if 
that girl I saw could have been his sister ? Well, the mystery 
will soon be solved, for she'll know I'm here when she comes 
in. There's one thing I'm grateful for, and that is that she 
isn't formal. [Zs:v//, L. 

En^er Polly and Mary, c. ; sif in easy chairs near center 
stage. 

Mary. Now, Polly, tell me all about yourself. 

Polly. Honestly, Mary, there's nothing to tell. I wrote 
you very fully about all the things that were happening to 
little me. 

Mary. I know you did, Polly; your letters were a joy. 

Polly. Well, truthfully, I can't say as much for yours. 
You always seemed to tell so little about yourself in them, 
especially lately. 

Mary. The fact is, Polly, I was trying not to tell some 
things, but I want to tell them now, if you'll let me. 

Polly. Let you? I'm anxious for every word ! 

Mary. Well, just when did my letters begin to sound 
strange ? 

Polly. Let me think,— I should say about six months ago. 

Why? 

Mary. Six months ago was just about when it happened. 

Polly. It ? What ? 

Mary. My engagement. 

Polly. Mary 1 You are engaged ? 

{Rises and steps toward Mary, who holds up her hand and 
shakes her head.') 

Mary. No — not now. 

Polly. But I thought you said 



Mary. I was engaged, but it was broken off. 

Polly. Oh, Mary, I'm so sorry. Do I know the man? 



8 JACK O' HEARTS 

Mary. I think not, and I'd rather not tell you his name. 

Polly. No, of course not. But how did it happen? Was 
it — did you feel that you had made a mistake ? 

Mary. No, it wasn't that. It was all a wretched misun- 
derstanding, and, oh, Polly, let's not talk about it any more. 
I can't bear it. 

(Polly, who has walked nervously about durmg Mary's 
explanatiofif comes to her chair and pats her shoulder.^ 

Polly. Of course, we won't talk any more about it now. 
Some other time perhaps you'll tell me more. Let me tell you 
something which is both funny and provoking. Just before I 
started out to meet you, Daddy telephoned and said that some 
unknown cousin of ours had turned up and was coming here 
for lunch, and probably for a visit. No one knows how long 
he's going to stay, and I really don't want to bother with him 
now, but I promised Daddy to be nice to him. His name is 
Jack — my heavens! I've forgotten his last name. {Girls 
laugh.) Of course, I'll just call him Jack; but when 1 intro- 
duce him to you, it may be somewhat awkward. How should 
I greet him, anyhow ? What is the approved way of greeting 
a long-lost cousin ; do you know ? 

Mary (ntischievously). Why — er — I should rush up to him, 
seize his hand, and give him a nice cousinly kiss. 

Polly. You're not serious ? 

Mary. Certainly I am. I dare you to. 

Enter Maid, c. 

Maid. Oh, Miss Polly, I didn't know that you were home. 
The Doctor called up and said to tell you that he had to meet 
some one, and wouldn't be home till late this afternoon. 

Polly. Thank you. Celeste. 

Maid. And Mr. Winthrop said to tell you that Mr. Jack 
was in the den. 

Polly. Good gracious, Mary, he couldn't have heard us 
talking ? 

Mary. No, of course not, Polly. 

Polly. Tell Mr. *' Jack " that we are in the living-room. 
Celeste, and will be very glad to see him. 

Maid. Yes, Miss Polly. ^Exit, l. 

Polly. Well, now I'm in for it. 

Mary. Don't forget the dare. 



JACK O* HEARTS 9 

Polly. Leave it to me. {Enter John, l. Mary watches 
ill anuisefuent as Polly rushes up to him and grasping his 
hand, throws her arm around his neck, and kisses him. 
John abnost faints.') Hello, Jack, I'm awfully glad to see 
you. Celeste just gave me Win's message, or I'd have sent 
word to you sooner. This is really an unexpected pleasure. 

John. Er — yes. Quite. (Strives to regain self-control.) 

Polly. Mary, I want you to meet Jack. {To John.) This 
is an old friend of mine, Miss Robinson. 

John. Miss Robinson, I am delighted to know you. (Bows.) 

Mary. And I am glad to meet you. 

Polly. Now, Jack, do tell us all about yourself in these 
long years since we lost track of you. • 

John. Why — er — really, Fm quite overcome to think that 
you ever did keep track of me. [Face lights up with interest.) 
But there's nothing of interest in the past. 

Polly. To be strictly truthful, I didn't ever keep track of 
you ; that was just to break the ice. 

John {looking dejected). Oh, well, to leave the past and 
keep in the present. Didn't I see you leaving the house when 
I came in, Miss Hart ? 

Polly. Don't call me Miss Hart : it sounds so formal. 
Just call me Polly : everybody does. Besides, didn't I call 
you Jack ? {Smiles at him.) 

John {cotnpletely demoralized). Why, yes, I believe you 
did. It — it was awfully nice of you to — to do it. 

Polly. Well, then, say it. 

John. Say what ? 

Polly. Polly, of course ! 

John. Polly, of course — oh, no ; I mean just plain Polly ! 

Polly. Oh ! just plain Polly. Now, Jack, do you think 
that's a nice way to talk to a girl ? 

(Polly and Mary laugh, and John is much embarrassed.) 

John. Oh, I say — you know what I meant. 

Enter Win., c. 

Win. Hello, everybody. You're getting on famously, I 
see. How are you, Mary? {Shakes hands with Mary.) 

Mary. Well, Winthrop, it's nice to see you again. 

Win. And you, too. You're the second nice surprise that's 
happened to-day. The first one was Jack here. 

{Claps John o?i back.) 



10 Jack o' hearts 

Polly. Why, when did you get so well acquainted ? 

Win. Ha ! Jack, old boy. That's a bright question, isn't 
it ? That girl has brains, if she is my sister. After two men 
have gone through college together, she wants to know where 
they got acquainted ! Wake up, Polly. 

Polly. Gone through college together? Why, I didn't 
know that you were in college with Cousin Jack. 

Win. Cousin Jack ? For heaven's sake, is this a dream ? 
If so, will somebody kindly pinch me ? Just who do you think 
this is? (Points to John.) 

Polly. Why, isn't it — isn't it Cousin Jack? Daddy tele- 
phoned that he'd be here, and I thought, of course, it was he. 

Win. {to John). Come, "Cousin Jack," I see I'll have to 
introduce you to my sister, generally sane, but at present a 
little demented, and Miss Robinson. Ladies {ivith flourishing 
botv), my roommate in college — the Reverend John Ames. 

Polly. Oh, horrors ! 



CURTAIN 



ACT II 

SCENE.-^Same as Act I. Timet late afternooti of the same 
day. 

(^Curtain rises j showing Win., Polly and Mary on stage. 
Win. and Mary are seated, and Polly is walking fran- 
tically about.') 

Polly. Won't you two please do something but laugh ? I 
never was so mortified in all my life, and I certainly never can 
look that man in the face again. 

Win. Nonsense, Sis, don't be so tragic about it. John's a 
good sport, and he knows it was all a mistake. Besides {chuck- 
ling), I told him that you were not formal. 

Polly. Formal ? Formal 1 Good gracious, Win, I kissed 
the man ! 

Win. {laughing). Kissed him? Glory be! This is cer- 
tainly rich. I knew you called him " Jack," but I didn't know 
that you had progressed to the stage that you speak of. 

Mary, It was lovely to watch, Win. Polly grabbed the 
poor man, and before he could recover his breath, had told him 
that ''this was really an unexpected pleasure." 

Win. Oh, cats ! I'll bet it was for him. {Howls with 
laughter.) What — what did he say? 

Mary {iviping her eyes). He said, " Er— yes, quite ! " 

Polly. Now listen to me. You're going to stop talking 
about that awful break of mine right away, and, furthermore, 
you're both going to help me to avoid that man while he is 

here. 

Win. Oh, come now, Polly. You can't be rude to him, 
you know. He's one of the best friends I ever had, and this — 
er — kissing game wasn't his fault. 

Polly. Winthrop ! {Stamps her foot.) Don't you refer to 
that incident again ! Of course I'll be decent to him when I 
have to meet him, for your sake ; but if you want me to do 
that, you've got to promise to keep me from being left alone 
with him while he's here. 

Win. All right, kid, I'll help you out, but I honestly think 
that you're foolish to make such a fuss just because you ki— 
{clapping hand over his mouth) that is, — made a mis- 

II 



11 Jack o* hearts 

take. {Enter John, l.) Hello, John. Say, what do you think 
of some tableaux for the day after to-morrow ? We had been 
talking about getting some up, and now that you and Mary are 
here to hel]) us out, we ought to be able to malic them go. 

John. Good plan, I'm sure, and I shall be glad to do all in 
my power to make them a success. 

(Looks at Polly as he says this.') 

Polly {stiffly). Thank you, Mr. Ames, we ap[jreciale your 
offer. 

Win. And you'd appreciate it still more if you knew that 
Ames, parson though he is now, used to be our best dramatic 
coach in college. 

Mary. Really I Well, I'm sure we'll all try to be docile 
pupils, Mr. Ames. 

Polly. Mary, will you show me how to do that embroidery 
now? I'm anxious to begin, and I'm sure Win and Mr. Ames 
will excuse us. \_Exeunt Polly and Mary, l. 

John. Do you know. Win, I'm awfully sorry that your sis- 
ter feels so badly about that — well, about that 

Win. Kiss ? 

John {jumpiiig in astonishmeiit). Who told you? 

Win. She did. She is awfully cut up about it, but don't 
you worry. She'll get over it. Girls always do make a big 
fuss over nothing. Jumping Jupiter ! I haven't had a sister 
for nothing. I know all the tricks of the animals — nearly. 
There's one of them can fool me, though, and she lives right 
next door, too. 

John. Aha ! my young friend. I begin to see light. May 
I inquire the name of this fair — animal, did you say ? 

Win. Well, somehow I don't care to apply that term to her. 
Her name is Betty — Betty Dwyer; and she's surely a peach. 

John. Why, of course ; and when are you contemplating 
the fatal plunge ? 

Win. Well, — you see, I — the fact is — I — oh, hang it all ! 
I've plunged ! 

John. Better still ; then congratulations ! 

Win. Sh ! keep it dark. The family don't know yet, for 
Betty doesn't approve of long engagements. 

Enter Maid, c. 

Maid. Mr. Winthrop, sir, Miss Betty is at the door in the 
car, and wants you to take her down to Brighton's. 



JACK O' HEARTS I3 

Win. That's so. I did promise to go down there with her 
this afternoon. Say, Jack, I hate to rush off and leave you this 
way, but you see 

John. Of course, I see. Don't think of staying on my ac- 
count. 

AViN. All right, Celeste. Tell Miss Betty I'll be out directly. 
(^Exit Maid, c.) I wouldn't do this if it weren't for Betty, but 
I'm awfully gone on her. \_Exit, c. 

John. Yes, I know. I'm beginning to realize just what 
that "■ gone " feeling is. I've had it ever since I saw VVin's sis- 
ter come out of this house before I reached here; and it's been 
getting worse ever since. Isn't it just my luck to have that 
mistake about our meeting ! Now, I don't suppose the girl 
will ever want to see me ; and I'm just getting silly over her. 
Well, Rev. Ames, methinks you're in for it. 

E7iter Polly, l. 

Polly. At last a moment in peace to think about that 

awful {Sees John, and stops short?) Oh, Mr. Ames, 

1 didn't know you were here ! 

John. Yes, I suppose you wouldn't have come if you had. 
Now, please, Miss Hart, as an old friend of your brother's, 
I'm going to take a liberty. 

Polly {icily). Yes? 

John. Yes. You were going to say something when you 
came in, and I venture to guess I know what it was 

Polly {interrupt i fig). I was saying that I should have a 
moment of peace to think about that awful war in Turkey, 
wasn't 1? You must be very clever at reading minds, Mr. 

John {cotnpletely dazed). Clever? No, Pm very stupid, 
apparently. You know I thought you were going to say some- 
thing else. 

Polly {quickly). Oh, I was ! I was gomg to ask you 
whether you thought the Turks or the— the other ones were 

right. , . , 

John. I Hang it! I don't care now which one is 

right. I want to ask you — to tell you 

Polly. Mr. Ames, surely you don't mean that you don t 
care about that dreadful war? Why, I should think that as a 
minister, you would feel that you ought to think deeply on such 
subjects as Turkey. 

John. But I tell you, I don't want to talk about 1 u:kcy. 



14 JACK O HEARTS 

Polly {sweetly). All right; what do you want to talk 
about ? 

John {explosively). You ! 

Polly. Me ? Oh, you prefer goose to turkey ? 

John. Yes. {Sees Polly's grm.) No ! I don't know — 
oh, you know 

Polly. Why, no, I don't, Mr. Ames. You were about to 
say? 

John. I was about to say {Stops in embarrassment^ 

meeting Polly's glance.) You mustn't look at me like that. 

Polly. Oh, you were going to tell me not to look at you. 
Perhaps, then, Pd better go? {Moves toward door ^ L.) 

John. No, no, please. That wasn't what I meant. You 
just disconcerted me by your glance, 

Polly. Very well. Pll turn my disconcerting glance in 
this direction. 

{Turns her back on him and looks at books in bookcase.) 

John. That's better. 
Polly. Oh, thank you ! 

{She doesn't turn, however, as she speaks.) 

John. I didn't mean 

Polly {interrupting). Don't you think it would be a good 
plan for you to say something that you do mean, for a change, 
Mr. Ames? 

John {with determination). Yes, I do. Miss Hart; and 
now Pm going to say it. When we met to-day 

Polly (wrathfully). The least said about that, the soonest 
mended. 

John {going on with his sentence). Well, I want you to 
know that I didn't care a rap about that little — er — mistake. 

Polly {furiously). Mr. Ames, I should think you would 
know that some things are better left unsaid. 

{Sweeps majestically out of room, l.) 

John {sinking into armchair). Well, now, I have done it ! 
And I only wanted to make her feel comfortable. 

Enter Win. ««^ Betty Dwyer, c, in motor costumes. 

Win. Hello, old man ; all alone still ? ( Turtis to Betty.) 
Miss Dwyer, I want you to know a very good friend of mine — 
Mr. Ames. 



JACK O HEARTS 1 5 

Betty {extending her hand as John bows). I'm very glad 
to meet you, Mr. Ames. 

John. Now that I have seen you, Miss Dwyer, will you al- 
low me to congratulate VVinthrop ; and to you my best wishes. 

Betty. Thank you. Win said he had told you, but it's a 
secret yet, you know. 

Win. When I told Betty about your being here, Jack, she 
insisted on our coming immediately back. So here we are. 

John. Why, yes — I was just thinking that you made a very 
short trip. That was awfully nice of you, but I hate to break 
into your plans. 

Betty. Not at all. We were only being nice to ourselves. 

{Meti^s voices heard outside. Enter Dr. Hart and Jack 
Botsford, c. Others turn to greet them.) 

Dr. H. Hello, youngsters — why, how do you do, Mr. 
Ames ? It's been a long time since we last met. 

John. Five years, sir. I'm glad to see you again. 

Dr. H. I want to introduce a new member of the family — 
our cousin. Jack Botsford, who is to be with us for a little 
visit. {To Jack.) These are Miss Dwyer, your Cousin Win- 
throp, and Mr. Ames. {All four acknowledge greetings.) 
Where's Polly? 

John. Er — I think she went up-stairs. 

Win. {aside to John). Have you two been having it out? 

John. Why, no — not exactly ; but she 

Win. Gave you a bad quarter of an hour, eh ? Well, she's 
capable of it. 

{During this speech of Win.'s and John's, Dr. H., Betty 
and Jack have been conversi?ig apart,) 

Dr. H. I suppose Mary's here now, isn't she? 

Win. Yes, Dad ; she came before lunch. 

Dr. H. Well, I'm going to call those girls down-stairs. 
{Goes L. atid calls.) Oh, Polly, come down here, won't you? 

Win. {to John). I told Betty about your meeting with 
Polly, so you needn't be afraid of talking right out about your 
last interview. Was it spicy ? 

John. Say, now, Win, I don't want you to misunderstand 
me about your sister's actions. 

Win. Oh, go on ! I've lived with my sister for quite a 
few years, and I know pretty well how she can act by this time. 



l6 JACK O' HEARTS 

{^During this talk betiveen Win. a ft^ John y Betty anit Jack 
kav^ been conversing together, and Polly afid Mary 
have appeared at l., where they greeted Dr. H. All three 
move toward front.) 

Dr. H. Well, Jack, here is the rest of the family. Polly, 
this is your Cousin Jack, whom I went to meet this afternoon ; 
and Miss Robinson, may I introduce Mr. Botsford ? 

Polly. Oh, how do you do. Cousin Jack? 

{Shakes hands with him in rather a scared way and very 
conscious of the amused stares of the rest. Mary co7nes 
forward to shake hands j a?id stops short. She and Jack 
stare at each other in amazement.) 

Jack. Oh ! Er — Miss Robinson and I have met before, I 
believe. 

Mary (agitated). Yes, I have met Mr. Botsford. 

{She draws back 7iear Polly.) 

AViN. Then you know each other? How jolly ! 

Jack {forcing a smile). Yes, very. 

Win. Well, Dad, I move we take Cousin Jack up to his 
room now. He'll be wanting to get ready for dinner. Com- 
ing, John ? 

John. Yes ; let me take this. 

{Lifts suit-case from Dr. H., and the four men exeunt, l.) 

Betty. I really must be going home, too. It's getting very 
late and it's almost time to dress for dinner. Don't forget that 
you two girls have promised to go motoring with me to-morrow 
morning. 

Polly. We won't; and oh, Betty, have you decided on 
your costume for the tableau-dance combination ? 

Betty. Yes ; I'll tell you all about it to-morrow. Good- 
bye. \^Exit, c. 

Polly. Now, Mary, there's something queer about you and 
Jack Botsford. What is it? Isn't he all right? 

Mary. Oh, yes, Polly, don't you see he is 

{Drops into chair and covers her face with her hands.) 

Polly. Not — Mary, not {Pauses.) 

Mary {lifting her face). Yes; the man to whom I was 
engaged ! 

CURTAIN 



ACT III 

SCENE. — Sa7ne as Acts I and II. Time, evening, two days 
later, TJie tableaux and dafice at the Harts' are in prog- 
ress. Music and laughter heard at intervals behind the 
sce?ies. 

Enter Betty, c, costumed as a gypsy, and Win. as a harle- 
quin. 

Win. But I tell you, Betty, you've just got to listen to me. 
I can explain everything if you'll only give me a chance. 

Betty. Apparently you prefer Miss Robinson to give you 
a chance to make the explanation to her, judging by your de- 
votion to her for the past two days. 

Win. That's just what I want to explain. 

Betty. Oh, surely that doesn't need any explanation; it's 
a self-evident fact. Fortunately for us both, no one knows of 
any engagement between us, so that the breaking of it need 
make no difference. 

Win. {gasping). The breaking 

Betty. Of our engagement, certainly. Now you may 
consider yourself quite free to spend all of your time with Miss 
Robinson. [Exit, c. 

Win. (rushing after her). But Betty, wait ! [^Exit, 

Enter Polly, l., in Furitafi dress as ^^ Friscilla,^^ and Mary 
as a Colonial lady. 

Mary. Oh, Polly, where do you suppose Winthrop disap- 
peared to? I cling to that poor boy like a leech, for Pm 
wretchedly afraid of being left alone with Jack — Mr. Botsford, 
that is, and that would be simply dreadful. 

Polly. Are you sure it would be so dreadful ? 

Mary. Quite, for, oh, Polly, I thought that I didn't care 
for him any more, and I find that I — do. These two days 
have been awful. 

Polly. Then if that's the case, why don't you tell him 
quite honestly that you're sorry for your part in the misunder- 
standing? I'm sure that you'll find that he feels the same 
way. 

17 



1 8 JACK O' HEARTS 

Mary. I couldn't possibly do it, Polly, for, in the first 
place, 1 think you're mistaken about his feelings, and in the 
second place, he will have to take the initiative in clearing 
things up. 1 just can't. 

Polly. Well, Pm very sorry, for I can't bear to see you so 
unhappy, and Jack seems like a dear boy. Maybe it will come 
out all right yet. In the meantime, you go on back into the 
drawing-room; we can't both be away like this without being 
missed. Pll try to find Winthrop and send him to you. 
{^Exit Mary, c. ; enter Win., l.) Hello, Win, I was just 
looking for you. You're wanted in the drawing-room to pro- 
tect Mary. 

Win. {lieatedly'). Mary be hanged ! 

Polly. Winthrop Hart ! do you know what you said ? 

Win. Yes ! 1 said '' Mary be hanged ! " and I meant it. 
She's gotten me into enough trouble for me to want to officiate 
at the hanging. 

Polly. Why, Win, what do you mean? What trouble 
could Mary get you into ? 

Win. No trouble at all, of course. She only succeeded in 
breaking my engagement to Betty. A mere trifle, I assure you. 

Polly. Your engagement to Betty? Oh, Win, I didn't 
know 

Win. No, of course you didn't. Otherwise you might 
have been a lit lie more cautious about ordering me to dance 
attendance on Miss Robinson, morning, noon, and night, until 
we're beastly sick of each other, — ^just so she wouldn't be left 
alone for a minute with the man who probably would have 
been her husband by now, if she had only had good sense. 

Polly. But Win, you oughtn't to speak so of Mary. 

Win. Oh, Mary, Mary, Mary ; always Mary ! What about 
Betty? It seems to me she might have some consideration in 
this game. She stood my apparent infatuation for Mary as 
long as she could, and then she got ripping mad and broke 
the engagement, without giving me a chance to explain. A 
lovely mess, I call it ! 

( Walks to and fro in excitement during this and succeeding 
speech.) 

Polly. It certainly is a fine pickle. 

Win. I should say so ! Here am I trying to make John 
have a good time, and you acting like the Consolidated Ice 
Trust every time the poor fellow says boo ! to you. Then 



JACK O* HEARTS IQ 

there's Jack, whom we were to entertain ; and the way we do 
11 is to produce his long-lost fiancee, who freezes him when she 
is with him and goes mooning around like a sick cat when he's 
not there. Oh, I know ! And last, but not least, here's poor 
me trying to make everybody happy, and getting in wrong 
with Betty, who's worth the whole bunch of you put together. 

{^Exity c, fuming. Polly sits in chair.') 

Polly. Oh, dear ! Oh, dear ! Now what am I going to 
do ? And the worst of it is that everything that Win said is 
true, — that is, all except my acting like an '' ice trust " to Mr. 
Ames, I'm sure I'm always polite to him, and I don't see 
how Win could expect me, on such short acquaintance, to fall 
on the man's neck. {Stops short.) Good gracious ! I'm glad 
I didn't say that to Win, or he'd have been quite likely to have 
reminded me that I had fallen on his neck on still shorter 
acquaintance. Oh, shall I never forget that horrible experi- 
ence? (Jiises and exit, c.) 

Enter John, l., dressed as John Alden. 

John. These clothes do certainly make a fellow feel like a 
fool. The only compensation is the fact that I'm in a tableau 
with her. {Sighs and then laughs.) Well, well, who would 
have dreamed a week ago that by this time I'd be saying 
** with her" in that tone of voice. It's a good thing I can get 
some satisfaction out of my own tone of voice, for I'm destined 
to get mighty little from hers. Ever since my fatal attempt at 
making her feel comfortable about our meeting, she seems to 
be devoting all her energies to making me feel uncomfortable. 
And yet I feel sure that she can be just as sweet and consid- 
erate as she is being the contrary of those things now. Any- 
how, I've gotten to the stage where I must let her know that I 
love her; and how I'm going to do it before I leave to-morrow 
morning, when she won't let me see her alone for a moment, is 
more than I can see. {Seats himself in chair near center- 
table and thinks ; picks up a pen from a pefi-tray and drums 
idly on the table with it ; suddenly becomes conscious of what 
he is holding.) Hullo ! Why didn't I think of that before — 
a note ? And now for paper. {Starts to feel in pockets, then 
remembers costume.) Oh, hang these clothes ! {Finds a piece 
of paper on desk.) Ah, here's a piece. And now for the 
epistle. {Thinks deeply.) If I tell her openly that I love her 
and want to see her alone, she may not come. On the other 



20 JACK O HEARTS 

hand, if I don't tell her I love her, but just say that I want to 
see her, she may not come either; and in that case I won't 
have accomplished anything. *' Faint heart ne'er won fair 
lady," so guess I'll risk it. Now for a more tactful beginning 
than I made last time. {Pauses and then writes his note ; 
reads.') ''Letting bygones be bygones, only remember that 
I love you, and must see you before 1 leave to-morrow morn- 
ing. Will you meet me in the living-room after our tableau ? 
Jack." That signature was an especial stroke of diplomacy on 
my part, for it will let her know that I liked her to call me 
that. It only remains for me to get it to her now. {He rises 
and Maid walks through roo7n frotn c. to L.) Oh, Celeste! 

Maid. Yes, sir? 

John. Will you get this note to Miss Mary as soon as 
possible? 

Maid. Certainly, sir. I'll give it to her at once. \_Exit, l. 

John. Well, that certainly takes a load off my mind. Now 
I suppose I'd better get along, as I'm to be stage director of this 
performance. \_Exit^ C. 

Enter Mary, l. ; directly after her^ Maid. 

Maid. Oh, Miss Mary ! I've been looking for you. I was 
to give you this note at once. 

Mary. A note — for me? Thank you. Celeste. (Exit 
Maid, l.) Who can be writing notes to me? {^Opens note.) 
Why, it's from Jack ! 

(Sinks into chair by fireplace and reads note. Her expres- 
siofi changes to one of joy. ) 

Enter Polly, c. 

Polly. Oh, here you are, Mary. They are ready for you. 
{Sees yiA^w'sface.) Why, what has happened? 

Mary, The loveliest and most wonderful thing in all the 
world. Read this note from Jack. {Hands Polly note.) 

Polly {reading). ** Letting bygones be bygones, only re- 
member that I love you, and must see you before 1 leave to- 
morrow morning. Will you meet me in the living-room after 
our tableau? Jack." 

Mary {rising). Yes, and isn't that a fitting climax to our 
visit with you good people? Oh, Polly! {Kisses her.) I 
never knew how wretched I had been until I was happy once 
more. And now 1 must go. {Rutis lightly out c.) 



JACK O* HEARTS 21 

Polly (Jooking intently at note). Jack Boisford never wrote 
that note. He wrote an address for me this morning, and the 
handwriting, though similar, is not the same. Mary must have 
been so excited that she didn't stop to think of the writing. 
She must never know that she made a mistake \ but how to 
prevent it? First, I'll destroy the note. {\Valks over to fire 
and puts note on it.) So far, so good. Now, even though 
Jack didn't write that note, I'm sure he feels that way, for he 
told me so to-day in confidence, but he's too proud to make the 
first advance ; so I must get him quickly and explain. (Win. 
appears in doorway at c.) Oh, Win, you're just the one I 
want. Come in here. {Enter Win.) Listen ! get Jack Bots- 
ford and bring him here at once and at all costs. 

Win. Say ! Is this another trick where I'm to be general 
utility man and cat's-paw, — because if it is 

Polly (stamping her foot). Hurry, idiot ! Do what I tell 
you, and your affairs will straighten out in no time. 

Win. Oh, my ! honest? I'm off. [^Exit, C. 

(Polly walks about in excitement.) 

Polly. Goodness ! I hope I'll tell him in the right way. 

Enter Jack in cavalier costume^ and Win., C. 

Win. Here's your man, Polly. 

Polly. Jack, are you sure you still love Mary? 

Jack. Great heavens, Polly, what a question ! Of course 
I do, and always shall. It's she who has changed, as I told 
you. 

Polly. But suppose she hasn't changed ? 

Jack. See here ! Don't you say a thing like that unless 
you mean it. (Grasps Polly's wrists.) 

Polly. Why, Jack, of course I mean it. Mary does love 
you, and to-night she thinks that she got a letter from you, tell- 
ing her that you still love her, and asking her to meet you here 
after your tableau. 

Jack. But who— why, I didn't write her that letter, though 
goodness knows I've wanted to. 

Polly. I know you didn't, but for pity's sake, don't let her 
find that out until you've made up. 

Jack. But what am I to do ? 

Polly. Just stay here, and I'll send her in to you. The 
rest I'll leave to your wits. But remember the happiness of 
both your lives is in the balance, and be careful. \_Extty C. 



21 JACK o' HEARTS 

Jack. Why, I never heard anything like this. Winthrop, 
will you kindly explain ? 

Win. Just do as you're told, and shut up. I've got trouble 
of my own, rnan ! \_£xi/, l. 

(Jack stands lookifig toward door at c. ; soft dance music 
heard outside and Mary sioivly comes in c, looking 
straight at Jack.) 

Mary {softly). ** Letting bygones be bygones, only re- 
\iember that I love you." Oh, Jack, I've been so wretched. 

(Jack puts his arms around her, and they stand so in center 
of stage.) 

Jack. And so have I ; but it's over, thank heaven ! 

(Betty appears for a ?noment at door at c, and\Ni^. at l. ; 
both duck hastily out of sight as they see Jack rt;/;^MARY.) 

Mary {freeing herself from Jack). Come, we must go 
now. There's the music for the minuet, and they'll bewailing 
for us. 

Jack. Let them wait, say I ; it's in a good cause. 

\_Exeunf, c. 

Enter Win., i.., peers about, and then goes to c, and calls 
softly. 

Win. Hey, Betty ! 

Betty {suddenly appearing from other side of center door). 
What? 

(WiN.y«w/i-.) 

Win. Good Lord ! how you scared me. I didn't know you 
were as near as that. Well, did you see it? 

Betty. Yes, and that accounts for my being so near when 
you called. I had to hide behind a curlain out there when 
they passed. {Both laugh.) 

Win. Well, say, Betty — about our engagement. 

Betty. What about it ? 

Win. Is it still broken ? 

Betty. No, silly, of course not, and it never was, any of 
the time ; only a little bit cracked. 

Win. If that's the case, I say we go into the conserTatory 
and {Pauses. ) 



JACK O' HEARTS 27 

Bktty. What ? 

Win. Mend it ! Come on. [Exeufi/, c, laughing. 

Enter Polly, l. She im/ks slowly and sinks into chair by 
fireplace as if very tired. 

Polly. Now, tliank goodness, that little part of my con- 
spiracy worked beautifully. Jack and Mary are dancing the 
mnuiet now with lighter hearts than they've known for a Ion"- 
tniie. Of course, Win and Betty will make up, so it but re"^ 
mains for me to console the only one who isn't happy as a re- 
sult of to-night ! Poor Mr. Ames ! He will be so disappointed 
about Mary. I shall scarcely know how to tell him of her hap- 
piness. It's queer that I never noticed that he was especially 
interested in her. I even thought— but that just shows how 
self-conscious and conceited I must be. Of course, the minute 
I saw that note and realized that Jack didn't write it, I knew 
It must have been Mr. Ames, as he's the only other "Jack " in 
the house. Well, I'll have to break the news to him as gently 
as possible. 

{Soft minuet heard in distance and sounds of laughter, 
Polly gazes ititofire as John enters c.) 

John. Ah ! Miss Hart. At last a moment alone. 

Polly. Yes, Mr. Ames, and I wish I could tell you some- 
thing that you would like to hear. 

John. You're not going to tell me that there is no hope? 

Polly. I'm afraid I'll have to. You see Mary and Jack 
were engaged before they came here, and have just righted a 
misunderstanding to-night. I'm sorry that their happiness 
should mean unhappiness to you. 

John. But it doesn't. Why should I object to Miss Robin- 
son's engagement ? 

Polly. Why? Don't you love her ? 

John. Love her ? Me ? Goodness, no. I 

Polly. Didn't you write her a note and send it to her to- 
night? 

John. A note? Why, the note I wrote was for you, and— 
oh, I remember. I told the maid to give it to Miss Mary, and, 
of course, she thought I meant Miss Robinson. 

Polly. Yes, of course. {Laughs.) 

John. But then I'm to understand from your remarks that 
you know what was in the note ? 



JUN 26 i918 

24 JACK O' HEARTS 

Polly {in lota voice). Yes, Mary showed it to me, thinking 
that Jack wrote it. So you see, Mr. Ames, you were responsi- 
ble for their happiness. 

John. Yes, but Polly, knowing that that note was for you, 
have you nothing to say to me except about their happiness? 

Polly. Yes, 1 have. 

John. Well, what is it? 

( Grips the back of a chair with his hands. ) 
Polly. "Why don't you speak for yourself, John?" 

(Rises.) 
John {stepping forward ). Polly ! ^t 



CURTAIN 



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